shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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