i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
