They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
