I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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