so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
