Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
