I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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