shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize