and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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