If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
