WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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