we have officially lost it.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize