dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Randomize
