Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
