He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
