so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
