Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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