I didn't shave. On purpose
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
