Swine flu. Run for my life!
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
