I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
