I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
