Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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