Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
