i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
