she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
