Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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