It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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