I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
