Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
