The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
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