all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
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