yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
