Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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