It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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