My sheets look like a crime scene.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize