watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
