No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
