Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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