did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
