There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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