You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
