Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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