i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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