Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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