Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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