My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
