I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
