I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
