who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
did i walk over a car last night?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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