Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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