Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
