office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
