I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
