Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
