I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
