What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Rumble strips road head = magical
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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