Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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