If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize