it wasn't lemon gatorade
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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