She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
