Having a random hookup so left but love u
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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