So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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