make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
