yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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