walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize